Breastfeeding - do I keep going?

I've gotten mastitis twice now and it's really done me in! I was stuck in bed and couldn't care for or even be with my toddler and could barely get it together to function enough to be with and feed my new baby. On top of all of that, I'm struggling mentally quite a bit. I'm thinking of stopping breastfeeding because my body is having a hard time with the mastitis, antibiotics and everything else. Does that make me a bad mom? I know how important breastfeeding is so it's making me feel like I've given up.

-Evelyn

Dear Evelyn,

Alright. Let’s take first things first. I curse the mere existence of the expression “bad mom”! That is coming from an external source (and whoa, are there so many external voices that seep into our minds which we then absorb internally! Hello, social media. But I digress).

Here is where turning inward to check in with yourself is critical. Mastitis is no joke and takes a real toll on your body and your spirit. Mastitis: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment & Prevention

It is directly connected to lactation (breastfeeding & pumping). Is it treatable? Yes. Can you continue breastfeeding after mastitis? Most definitely.

Here’s the bottom line with this (and so many other choices you will make or will have to make as you go forward throughout your motherhood journey): you are the only one who can decide what is best for you. The only one!

If you can, break things down a little bit. Yes, it is well-known and well-documented that breastfeeding is very beneficial for the baby and the mom. HOWEVER, where does your well-being lie in this mix? Ask yourself some “what if” questions? What if I stopped breastfeeding (How do you feel when you ask yourself this question?)? What if I do a mix of breastfeeding and bottle feeding (How do you feel when you ask yourself this question?)? What if I introduce formula and phase out breastfeeding (How do you feel when you ask yourself this question?)?

All of these are totally valid choices. When you can arrive at the choice that feels best for you, then it’s the right one.

Not everyone shares this belief, but I think that the mom’s health and sanity trumps all else. Even breastfeeding. There, I said it. Do I support breastfeeding? Absolutely. It can be an incredibly rewarding and bonding experience. I also support a mom’s decision to choose what is best for her. If her baby is thriving and growing, and that is from a mix of breastfeeding and formula or from formula alone, that.is.okay.

If you can, try to quiet the external voices that are causing you to impose some harsh self-judgment. Those outside voices are not the ones living your life. You are. You get to make the call on what works best for you.

Disclaimer: I am a certified postpartum doula (DONA International) with 5+ years of experience and also a mother of three. This is not medical or psychological advice. Please seek medical and/or psychological care where appropriate.